My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Looks like my superpowers don’t come with automatic manicures, thank heaven. I hate long nails.

i asked God to give me a love via synchronicity so when it was my time to allow someone into my heart ~ he entered my world, as if by magic.

Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.

Panic was the worst thing. When you panicked, you couldn't see possibilities. Then came despair.

I love energy and people; gosh I love people even when they got on my nerves.

The basic root of happiness lies in our minds; outer circumstances are nothing more than adverse or favourable.

Give all to love; Obey thy heart.

I tried to tell them that things would be okay, but I didn't believe it.

The Kingdom of Heaven, O man, requires no other price than yourself. The value of it is yourself. Give yourself for it and you shall have it.

There seems to be a strange affectation in authors of appearing to have done everything by chance.