My request that my writing be read twice has aroused great indignation. Unjustly so. After all, I do not ask that they be read once.

The streets of Vienna are paved with culture, the streets of other cities with asphalt.

Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays.

Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country.

I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up.

The sound principle of a topsy-turvy lifestyle in the framework of an upside-down world order has stood every test.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.

Newspapers have roughly the same relationship to life as fortune-tellers to metaphysics.

Christianity has enriched the erotic meal with the appetizer of curiosity and spoiled it with the dessert of remorse.

The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people worse than they are.

When a human's tears dry up forever, they transform into a monster

Streetlife serenader never sang on stages, needs no orchestration, melody comes easy, need no vast arrangement to do their harmonizing.

I like to think that I'm a sort of poet for our times.

There is no word for our kind of friendship. Two people who don't see each other a lot, but can make each other effortlessly happy

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial

I have come up the hard way.

Love is healing. Love is comforting. Love is holy. Food can be all those things, too.

The world is changed not by the self-regarding, but by men and women prepared to make fools of themselves.

The awful wrongs and sufferings forced upon the innocent, helpless, faithful animal race form the blackest chapter in the whole world's history.

Happy people are poor psychologists.