My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.

Why do Canadians like to do it doggie style? So they can both keep watching the hockey game

I met Elvis first in Las Vegas. I think I was appearing with Tom Jones and he came backstage to say hello to Tom or we went to his dressing room to say hello.

All's fair if you have a really good attorney.

I was the first spokesperson for the Better Hearing Institute in Washington. And that's the message we tried to send out - there is hearing help out there, and the technology and options are amazing.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness

God does not require us to achieve any of the good tasks that humanity must pursue. What God requires of us is that we not stop trying.

I don't get all this Speedo stuff actually, I mean, whatever happened to the feather boa?

Probably I, like a lot of people, became a writer in imitation of or in homage to the books I enjoyed. When you're so captivated by something, you think, could I do that? Hmm, let me try

If you clear that negative feeling and forgive yourself, then you can see the world from a different lens. You stop attracting that same type of experience. You can set yourself free.

I have never yet met anyone who did not think it was an agreeable sensation to cut tinfoil with scissors.

I'm pretty critical of myself as far as reaching some sort of perfect bull's-eye or target that I'm aiming for.

My poor mom really wants me to meet someone. I think she wanted to believe the Ryan Gosling rumor more than anybody.

I will trust and not be afraid.

People think that because they've seen your name in print, you're rich. I assume that. But all it means is that there was some intrepid interviewer who bothered to give you a call.