My show was revolutionary, ground-breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing.

Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.

I will never vote Democrat again, they are Communists.

Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?

I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised.

Talent is what drives this world ... Doesn’t matter how many satellites you f---ing stick in the air.

I think I could create a cult, no problem. The hard part is getting people to kill themselves.

I'm down with just the Backstreet Boys.

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience.

I've always been about honesty, whether on the radio, whether I did a movie, whether I wrote a book. As long as you're honest, you don't lose your edge.

You've got to be a little vicious. You've got to be narcissistic. You've got to be on fire about your career.

Participating in Society in not a thing one can do naturally

The receding perspective of my past smothers my present. Remembering is the malignancy that feasts on my now.

Whoever thinks a faultless piece to see, Thinks what ne'er was, nor is, nor e'er shall be.

The auditioning process is one in which the actor gets very little information about almost every element of it.

The best way to get even is to forget.

A god or revelation capable of proof or rational verification by an autonomous man would be worthless.

The one thing that unifies men in a given age is not their individual philosophies but the dominant problem that these philosophies are designed to solve.

Ever since the Greek tragedies, artists have, from time to time, asked themselves how they might influence ongoing political events.

I go for really smart guys, ones who are well-read and can banter and argue. Men need to be able to take me out and have a few drinks, but by the end of the night we'll be talking about Nietzsche.

Bottom line, your body is a temple, and you have to treat it that way. That's how God designed it.