My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

You do not exist to serve the illusion. The illusion exists to serve you.

I have read 391 books... please- Enlight Me- Enlight Me- Enlight Me- Enlight Me- Enlight Me- Enlight Me

I don't think I have accomplished what I still have to accomplish. There is one thing that I would like to do, and that's to bring security and peace to the Jewish people.

The hardness of a diamond is part of its usefulness, but its true value is in the light that shines through it.

One of the things that I'm glad about, though, is that regular people can relate to me.

What we can do for another is the test of powers; what we can suffer for is the test of love.

I don't feel like I'm half as important as Elliott Smith or Kurt Cobain. And I'm not going to be somebody that became so unhappy that he succumbed.

He gave her what no one else had ever been able to give. A past to cherish. A present to enjoy. A future to anticipate

Keep integrity and your work ethics intact. So what if that means working a little harder; an honorable character is your best calling card, and that's something anyone can have!

your not alone, Tally. Don't pretend you are