My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Marriage creates one world for your child. For that alone, two old friends can try to see a peaceful world through the eyes of their angels.

To err is human, but it feels divine.

I want to bring that childlike approach every night - just go out there and have fun. I want to play like a kid, for fun but with intensity. Play to win.

The liquid metal battery story is more than an account of inventing technology. It's a blueprint for inventing inventors.

Weakness indicates dependence, and there is a degree of trust and tenderness also in it.

I was haunted by trainers going "Up, up, up, get up." You find yourself picking your head up and then realizing, They aren't talking to me.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

When you find your voice, your life takes on grace.

People can look at me any way they want to. If somebody meets me and hangs out with me, they can see what kind person I am. I can't change for people.

I think I might get laid more...by my dad.