My sisters are stronger and my brother's bigger than me.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

We are all capable of being great dreamers. We must awaken the divinity within us.

It would be ridiculous to hold your breath and blame others for your inability to breathe. In the same sense, it is ridiculous to live an unaligned life and blame God for your misfortune.

I don’t do math.

Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.

Why Me? Why You? Why His? Why Hers, Why Mine? or Why Theirs? It should be We and Ours.

Good God, do you mean to say this place is a club?

The rise of salsa was such an important time in musical history, not just in Latin music but music in general, because these guys created a new sound.

Humanity in its basic form is co-humanity.

war often breaks out when there is the most talk of peace.

All I am and all I have is at the service of my country.