My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

The best way to discredit something is to come with a better way of doing that thing.

I want you to live, and go on living, and let everyone else live, too.

The first step in persuasion is to entice your target to imagine doing the thing you want them to do.

I have an optimistic view of everything. You have to, otherwise you'd go nuts.

I grew up in an abusive home and was told on a daily basis by my father that I would never amount to anything and that I looked like a boy.

In my experience what I'm hearing from people now is that they're just desperate to hear about something else.

I am keenly aware that I benefit from a wonderful tradition in the UK of designing and making.

All that spirits desire, spirits attain.

I don't like to stop. I'm a big person who looks at where the hubs are because I hate changing planes.

The best solution seldom requires that someone be right and someone else be wrong.