My wife, Tania, is very big on dogs, so I'm always paying out to animal charities.

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

Writers, even unpublished writers, have a tendency not to notice what’s going on around them when they are the center of attention.

My father followed, during most of his life, the precarious occupation of a country school teacher.

You can have data without information, but you cannot have information without data.

I feel like guys don't think it's cool to use emojis. I'm like, that's so whack. Emojis help so much. They really do give context to something.

It takes a vice to check a vice, and virtue is the by-product of a stalemate between opposite vices.

I don't rhyme right now, but I may ten years from now.

Not that it was Twiggy's fault, but the ubiquity of her image created a sense in young women that to be stylish meant to be skinny, flat-chested with an ingenue face and straight hair.

If you don't educate yourself, this is an area of your life that it is a game.

Patrick sort of had a very pragmatic, practical, Ed-like approach and went down to see.

I've had some pretty stimulating conversations about where we are politically as a result of this movie [Snowden], but then there are a lot of questions just about that sensationalism of it.