My wife hates the beard. When we dated, I would grow it out during duck season. She said she could handle anything for three months - but now I have it all the time.

When you don't know what you're doing, it's best to do it quickly.

Most things can be fixed with duct tape and extension cords.

Through Jesus, your past is explained, your present has a purpose, and your future is secure. What more could you really want in life?

You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways.

It seems a fine line between being a matador and being a rodeo clown

My parents were hoarders before hoarding was cool

I represent Jesus on this earth and he represents me in heaven.

Most people named Willie are either in prison or on the armwrestling circuit.

You can see the true heart of a man when you're out in the woods with a weapon

If you’re too busy to duck hunt or catch fish, then you’re too busy.

There is something particularly fascinating about seeing places you know in a piece of art - be that in a film, or a photograph, or a painting.

When a man cannot fight he would curse. The gods like to feel needed.

A promise fulfilled may be a classic moment, but prophecies mean anticlimax. How much more awesome was an unexpected salvation?

If you were not a sinful, polluted, helpless, and miserable creature, this Savior would not be suited to you, and you would not be comprehended in his gracious invitations to the children of men.

To pull off any look, wear it with confidence.

It is not expected of critics that they should help us to make sense of our lives; they are bound only to attempt the lesser feat of making sense of the ways we try to make sense of our lives.

Some actors go, 'Bing!' and suddenly they're being paid huge sums. Me, I seem to get screwed every time.

I think Dalai Lama efforts have been heroic.

I don't want to have to get the lesson of losing [things like health and moving about freely] to appreciate what it was.

The God of Evangelical Christianity is a Monster.