My wife loves Europe but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

She will blaze through you like a gypsy wildfire. Igniting you soul and dancing in its flames. And when she is gone, the smell of her smoke will be the only thing left to soothe you.

The reason America is in its death-throes is because America has lost moral authority.

Americans should be free to recognize our religious heritage doing that is not the same as creating a government-sponsored religion.

What strikes me is the fact that in our society, art has become something which is only related to objects, and not to individuals, or to life.

Ive been blessed to have a long career.

Keeping it real is the key and I don't know how they've done that week after week. I think the key is that everybody can sort of empathize with [The Office].

Hatred, slavery's inevitable aftermath.

I always feel like there is some dude out there with money that I could fall back on if I needed to.

You don't always just have to do an indie movie to feel like you're controlling it with a few people that you really have connected with, creatively. You can do it on a bigger scale.

Life is like the rungs on a ladder. The reason they are placed so close together is that we can learn to take baby steps and reach our destinations safely.