My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant.'

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

I feel a warmth within, as if sunshine has flooded my soul.

It's not about what it is, but about what it can become.

What Messi does is terrifying. It's indescribable magic. You can't analyze it.

Sitting still as stone watching - watching People walking by you wondering why No one ever stops to talk or thinks about it - if they ever did

There is no telling how many wars it will take to secure freedom in the homeland.

Good leaders reach solutions, and then stop. They do not dare to rely on force.

It is not so bad being ignorant if you are totally ignorant; the hard thing is knowing in some detail the reality of ignorance.

Enemies are an indication of character.

Nothing can take away our memories or what we know.

The future is like the moon. You never expect to go there, or think about what it might be like.