My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Personally, I've made myself a very small window of what I enjoy in this business, which is I love being a big part of the storytelling process.

Boards don't hit back.

The most important thing is to have a sense of responsibility, commitment, and concern for each of our fellow human beings.

Every eye sees its own special vision; every ear hears a most different song. In each man's troubled heart, an incision would reveal a unique, shameful wrong.

Do or do not. There is no try. Only do.

Life is always frightful. We cannot help it and we are responsible all the same. One's born and at once one is guilty.

All of marketing consists in creating relationships. Real relationships: friends, lovers, partners, warriors, fans.

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights.

Your breath touched my soul and I saw beyond all limits.

Know what thou canst work at, and work at it like a Hercules.