My worlds collide. When one things happens, it just starts a domino effect - everything else goes on.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

Don't ever trust men with good intentions. They'll always disappoint you."Leo

It’s a full-time job being homeless. It’s a full-time job being poor.

I like putting my money into things like food and shelter. I'm probably a bad example of an investor.

I always wanted to be an anchorman, but after college I wound up working behind the scenes at CBS News for 10 years.

Liberty is the right of doing whatever the laws permit.

Sometimes I'd like to have a conversation with a friend in a restaurant without feeling I'm being watched. At this rate I will have to go on holiday to Greenland. But maybe the Eskimos would know me.

One of the best possible perspectives from which to tell a story is that of a ghost, someone who is dead but can still witness.

I put less stock in others' opinions than my own. No one else's opinions could derail me.

Was I wearing my 'I'm done with my virginity, please get rid of it for me' T-shirt?

I know I am deathless…We have thus far exhausted trillions of winters and summers, There are trillions ahead, and trillions ahead of them.