NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

Without delayed gratification, there is no patience.

Motherhood is a constant battle of going to bed early so you can catch up on sleep and staying awake so you can enjoy some peace and sanity!

Roast beef, medium, is not only a food. It is a philosophy.

TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

"Baby," I said. "I'm a genius but nobody knows it but me."

It's simple: Give thanks and use Dove.

We haven't truly had a zeitgeisty, 'songs on the radio' show, since...I want to say "One Night in Bangkok" was the last musical theatre song that charted. That was so long ago.

Where orthodoxy is optional, orthodoxy will sooner or later be proscribed.

Casting is all about availability, as much as anything else.