NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Positive thoughts emanate when we are in a sate of joy and negative thoughts come when we are in a state of sorrow.

He’d never forgotten the sweep of her soft mouth against his, the taste of her sweetness, like strawberries, and the way she fired his insides to life.

Fear makes us feel our humanity.

Rationalism is an adventure in the clarification of thought.

Why should I give my Readers bad lines of my own when good ones of other People's are so plenty?

You cannot be successful and continue to be a victim.

I'm not going to beat somebody up for talking smack to me, especially another skater.

Most illness begins with a negative mind.

Attack the enemy's strategy.

You furnish the pictures and I'll furnish the war.