Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The bond of love is supernatural.

Unto you is bornin the city of Davida Savior for all.

But a lot of shows, they pose questions and they give you a puzzle where there's no solution.

There was a period when I stopped talking so much, because I was just going through certain things. I just did the gigs and just stayed in, tried to stay away.

First you use machines, then you wear machines, and then ...? Then you serve machines.

Armed forces abroad are of little value unless there is prudent counsel at home

. . . if [writing] lift you from your feet with the great voice of eloquence, then the effect is to be wide, slow, permanent, over the minds of men; . . .

Faith in God goes beyond intellectual presentation and logic.

Everybody is doing the best things possible to still healthy and to play as long as possible.

A nation that cannot control its borders is not a nation.