Nanny Ogg never did any housework herself, but she was the cause of housework in other people.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Writing- the profession in which you stare at a computer screen, stare out the window, type a few words, then curse repeatedly.

✵ When I first met you there was a garden growing from a black hole in my mind. ✵

The march is a way to get in celebration mode.

Blessed is the man who has found someone to do his work.

It never was my thinking that made the big money for me. It always was my sitting.

The cultural insistence that parenting is the 'most important' job in the world is a smart way to satiate unappreciated women without doing a damn thing for them.

Donald Trump says five things: everyone's dumb, he's going to make America great again, we're going to win, win, win. He's winning in the polls.

The divine is in all things.

If we did not have such a thing as an airplane today, we would probably create an agency the size of NASA to build one.

I am looking for the novelists whose writing is an extension of their intellect rather than an extension of their neurosis.