Nature abhors a moron.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Gin a body meet a bodyComing thro' the rye, Gin a body kiss a body— Need a body cry?

God could not consistently love men if He did not provide for the judgment of evildoers.

Getting too interested in the English way of life won't help you land a permanent job.

The next time I will cry is when I die. My life has been that beautiful.

A girl's got to do what she's got to do to make somebody pay her a compliment. If that means moaning 'til the cows come home, then so be it.

Hope and fear are inseparable.

Remakes, in general, are a result of necessity being the mother of invention. They can't open movies consistently and break through the advertising clutter that's out there.

People don't hear me talk. They don't expect me to.

Disease [is] as one of our languages. Doctors understand what disease has to say about itself. It's up to the person with the disease to understand what the disease has to say to her.

If someone praises you with what you are not, they are in essence criticizing you of a deficiency in you.