Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

I think we have grave problems. I am very much concerned about environmental questions, even though in Finnish society, we are not facing the most urgent problems.

Just remember... it doesn't matter how long you have known each other.. all that matters is that he has kept you smiling from day one

My best ideas almost always come from winding up in unexpected places and stumbling across things I never could have imagined in advance.

I want to be mayor, but I don’t need to be mayor. I’m not a career politician.

True love has always been a two-way proposition.

Thinking is the greatest torture in the world for most people.

I'm not interested in provoking people, but only in trying to be consoling.

Nothing will infect you with a negative view of the world faster than hanging around people with harmful belief systems.

I try to watch only real things, which basically amounts to C-Span for me. I like real people in real situations. I learn from that.

Where thou art Obliged to speak, be sure speak the Truth: For Equivocation is half way to Lying, as Lying, the whole way to Hell.