Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

I have to brush my teeth before I go on stage otherwise I don't feel smart enough.

Why change the world? Change worlds!

It was like meeting someone out of your dreams, or fantasies, or a beloved character from a favorite book.

Not knowing of the eternal leads to unfortunate errors.

Fortunately, when you're a mom, the responsibility of caring for your child can keep you going.

I watch every reality show out there.

The energies represented by the four #‎ elements are ulitimately the fundamental realities of life that are being analysed with #‎ astrology

There is nothing stronger than human prejudice.

To be truly ignorant, be content with your own knowledge.