Neither claimed any responsibility for Milton Keynes, but both reported it as a success.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

All girls are beautiful, and when they say they're ugly they only lie to themselves, for it's impossible for them to be ugly.

Don't let your past dictate your future.

Age doesn't matter, unless you're cheese.

To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else.

I come from a very rough background, and I'm saying that if you work hard and dedicate yourself that you can make it, too.

Bands are about these little relationships that make everything tick, and when you create new music you're testing those relationships.

I don't think anybody can be told how to act. I think you can give advice. But you have to find your own way through it.

In war is it who's right, or who's left?

Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third.

While all too many people live in dire poverty, others are caught up in materialism and lifestyles which are destructive of family life and the most basic demands of Christian morality.