Neurotics would like to sleep all the time, and to be awakened only when there is good news.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

It's the most unhappy people who most fear change.

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him.

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime.

We lavish on animals the love we are afraid to show to people. They might not return it; or worse, they might.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter.

They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they'd only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is.

Christ did to the Jewish orthodoxy, what Buddha did to the Hindu orthodoxy.

If you can pick the baby up without him squirting our of your hands like a bar of soap in the shower, he's not oiled up enough.

I think it's one of the scars in our culture that we have too high an opinion of ourselves. We align ourselves with the angels instead of the higher primates.

Force ought to follow justice and not to precede.

I have no desire to walk on water," said Siddhartha. "Let the old shamans satisfy themselves with such skills".

I'm just proud that I created something that helped me pay my bills because I was so flat broke. I was borrowing money from my mother to stay afloat, and that was kind of uncomfortable.

They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.

We can love completely what we cannot completely understand.

I can't think of any sorrow in the world that a hot bath wouldn't help, just a little bit.

Thank goodness modern convenience is a thing of the remote future.