Never accept a drink from a urologist.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

You can't be richer than your trust in your partners.

You deny the existence of magic. It's tragic. Aren't you a child born from the ashes of stars? Born from light to decide a life?

Leaders are not worried about what they can’t do

Above all else show the data.

I never thought modeling would become my career. I thought it was something I'd do to pay my way through college.

The signore...wishes her to begin at the beginning.

The Rosary is THE weapon.

Like music my drawings transport us to the ambiguous world of the indeterminate.

Anyone who can worship a trinity and insist that his religion is a monotheism can believe anything.

Music is the only thing in the world that can block out madness, and can be consumed in the sadness, for it helps the soul survive even if only for a short time.