Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.

There is always time for failure

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yoghurt.

No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

We don't know much about the human conscience, except that it is soluble in alcohol.

The secret of good health and happiness is to have rather small illnesses throughout your life which you can rely on to stop you doing anything you don't want to do.

Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.

Easter says that every ending ever experienced by man is exquisitely crafted to find its own ending at the feet of a fresh beginning.

I'm not going to miss wearing the braces very much.

Anybody who preserves the ability to recognize beauty will never get old.

To do then now would be retro. To do then then was very now-tro, if you will.

The censorious said she slept in a hammock and understood Yeats's poems, but her family denied both stories.

I tend to keep my private life private. I think it's important to have mystique. It's important to keep people thinking and guessing, and you want everyone to think you're singing to them.

Roll the weed up Somebody turn the beat up While I continue to spit relax and kick yo feet up Mac game so cold make yo nose runny Mac game so cold takin' hoes money

Godliness is the fragrance of the man who has attained enlightenment.

It's the light of the oncoming train.

Put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself, "Here is an opportunity for me to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary".