Never board a commercial aircraft if the pilot is wearing a tank top.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Why should we build our happiness on the opinons of others, when we can find it in our own hearts?

That’s what happens when destiny unveils itself: you get a sense of knowing you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, and with whom.

Now is as good a time as any to send up a prayer.

I don't use big words to show off because it's ostentatious.

To be truly positive in the eyes of some, you have to risk appearing negative in the eyes of others.

Eve and the apple was the first great step in experimental science.

It's a required part of your film history to know who Woody is. His movies are so wonderful, and not just funny but so insightful about human behavior.

They say every man needs protection They say every man must fall So, I swear I see my reflection Somewhere inside these walls... I shall be released.

The school as a means of education to me was simply a blank.

People say it's really the press who create those soundbites about fashion. That's what sells magazines and clothes.