Never have more children than you have car windows.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Human beings are co-partners with deity in the project of being. This is the basis of all magic.

To become a better you, do not see the failure of your first attempts and declare yourself a loser.

Solve problems, make art, think deeply.

Unless the Self is known, the power of the Self (swa satta) cannot arise.

Helplessness induces hopelessness, and history attests that loss of hope and not loss of lives is what decides the issue of war.

From now until the end of time no one else will ever see life with my eyes, and I mean to make the best of my chance.

Friendship cant end just because you change your life.

It is only when the people become ignorant and corrupt, when they degenerate into a populace, that they are incapable of exercising their sovereignty.

Our gifts to this world, and this realm's gifts to us can come in many ways, often as we least expect them but they come especially when we are open to give, open to receive.

A singularity is a place where the rules are broken. A miracle is a singularity.