Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Oh, pity the poor gluttonWhose troubles all beginIn struggling on and on to turnWhat's out into what's in.

The ultimate form of our technological achievement will be identical to the beginning state of this nature.

Those who voluntarily put power into the hands of a tyrant ... must not wonder if it be at last turned against themselves.

Everybody thinks the Bushes are from Texas. I've been there twice.

I can see how everything relates to everything else when I think that nothing is merely coincidental. If everything that happens is inevitable, then the world is connected and whole.

It's going to go away because we all need silence. We all need time to reflect and think. I am not at all pessimistic about this.

God places His saints where they will bring the most glory to Him, and we are totally incapable of judging where that may be.

I don't think anyone would think that an ellipsis represents doubt or anything. I think it's more, you know, hinting at the future. What lies ahead.

What must be shall be; and that which is a necessity to him that struggles, is little more than choice to him that is willing.

At a certain point, if you chase two rabbits, you lose them both.