Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt

I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.

He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.

If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.

You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner?” I shrugged. “I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something.

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up.- Charley Davidson

If you needed some sort of sign, here it is. Get going! You can do it!

The path of light is the path of life.

It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today.

Few people think about this or are aware of it. But there is nothing made by human beings that does not involve a design decision somewhere.

Writing a song is like playing a series of downs in football: Lots of rules, timing is crucial, lots of boundaries, lots of protective gear, lots of stopping and starting.

People say a lot of things, like "You can't teach personality" or "You can't teach charisma," and I find that it's not true.

Treat your audience like poets and geniuses and they’ll have the chance to become them.

Becoming a junior usher at a black church was my entry into the wonder of worship.

Criticism even should not be without its charms. When quite devoid of all amenities, it is no longer literary.

Plan B?' Ivy said. 'What is plan B?' Jenks reddened. 'Grab the fish and run like hell,' he muttered, and I almost giggled.