Never less than bizarrely delightful. The monster is mesmerizing.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I live my life as I deem appropriate and fitting; I offer no apologies, no explanations.

I had a dream about you last night.. You thought you were a candy vampire, you were standing in the sun screaming 'I'm melting.

It's about people who still are unaware. Therefore they strive to live by all means: love like no one before them loved, believe like no one ever believed, desire like no one else ever desired...

How could I, who loved life so intensely, have let myself be entangled for so long in that balderdash of books and paper blackened with ink!

be the calm eye of the storm where nothing phases you, focus on your centre to remain balanced, let your life flow like a stream of wind

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

It's odd but even when I was a kid, I would write about 'old and other times' as though I had a lot of years behind me. Now I do, so there is a difference in the weight of memory.

GIVE ME YOUR REASON TO BELIeVE

To rule without being felt…is the great mystery of policy.

The difference between a republic and an empire is the loyalty of one's army

When I say that I love you, I don't say it out of habit or to make conversation. I say it to remind you that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.