Never look to other couples to measure your worth

Because a doubt is not a denial. Doubt is a powerful tool, and it should be applied to history.

Dreams are built around the word hello, but in the end fate only knows the word goodbye.

Set short term goals and you'll win games. Set long term goals and you'll win championships!

Of what story or stories do I find myself a part?

I started doing stand-up in college.

By the way, two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground and all you people care about is my bullshit... Pathetic. Shame, shame shame

I'm not a registered Republican or Democrat. I don't even vote.

There must be another way, if only because there has to be.

Mitt Romney was the man who stood up to Donald Trump early, hard, never wavered.

I could believe only in the hell I was living in, a hell on earth, and it was man-made, not God-made.