Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

The endless thing in the world is Love.That is Beautiful.

Had any parent ever succeeded in hiding marital unhappiness from their child?

Happy the man and happy he alone He can call today his own. He who secure within can say "Tomorrow do thy worst for I have lived today."

You and I are just like a blade of grass sitting here; we are going to wither and die. "But the word of the Lord endures forever"

Health is a state of complete harmony of the body, mind and spirit.

Somebody once said to me that photography and writing don't get respect because people think that they can do it, too.

Logic is a wonderful invention. It is so wonderful, people often mistake it for reason. Reason, however, requires sense. Logic requires only consistency.

The overwhelming majority of people, including Christians, are materialists. They do not believe in the power of spirit. They believe only in material power.

People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.

You've got to love acting and that's true for me. I love the idea of getting on stage and getting in front of a camera.