Never put a foot down in the middle of a foot rub.

Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!

During a heat wave every dude stinks.

Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!

It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.

The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.

The kashays (inner anger, pride, deceit and greed) that keep one entrenched in the coolness of the worldly life are the very thing that makes one wander life after life.

What a difference it makes to come home to a child!

There is a point when grief exceeds the human capacity to emote, and as a result one is strangely composed-

Wisdom cannot be compared with a gold.

Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear.

Facts speak plainer than words

We can keep from a child all knowledge of earlier myths, but we cannot take from him the need for mythology.

Give lettered pomp to teeth of Time, So "Bonnie Doon" but tarry; Blot out the epic's stately rhyme, But spare his "Highland Mary!"

One of the criteria by which we measure the worth of public figures is whether or not their brand of bull is in step with the current Zeitgeist.

We are part animal, part human, and part divine, and the moment we forget the possibility of any one of those, we are lost.