Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

Life can sometime be very hard for us and we feel that as if we are drowning in our problems. when we feel this way we only need to look up and see that there is a hand reaching out to save us.

Bill Gates' Success Factors for Microsoft 1. Long-term Approach 2. Passion for Products and Technology 3. Teamwork 4. Results 5. Customer Feedback 6. Individual Excellence

The majority of women commit the strategic error of attempting to excel in a maximum of fields in order to satisfy all their customers' needs.

A consumer is not a moron. She's your wife. Don't insult her intelligence, and don't shock her.

I'm not an author, but before I became mayor, I wasn't a mayor.

I would love to have been born in the 60s.

Better understated than overstated. Let people be surprised that it was more than you promised and easier than you said.

The only sin I think a commander in chief can make is exaggerating successes and not understanding the challenges.

The president has to have the trust, earn the trust, maintain the trust of people in order to lead. And there's nothing that will lose it quicker than a sense that he's in it for a quick buck.

The most powerful person in the world is the story teller. The storyteller sets the vision, values and agenda of an entire generation that is to come.