Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

History fondly remembers those who meet expectations but is written by a few who exceed them

If you failure, do not give up. Find new strength to climb the stairway to success.

I want to be the kind of boy you are, thought Bean. But I don’t want to go through what you’ve been through to get there.

Lord who art always the same give that I know myself give that I know Thee.

The ability of a country to wage war is not an accurate measure of its strengths, but of its fears.

Life had already given him sufficient reasons for knowing that no defeat was the final one.

[Alex] Haley's objective was quite different. Haley was a republican. He was an integrationist. He was very opposed to black nationalism.

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction.

The law can seem remote, arcane, the stuff of specialists. But it isn't, because for those of us who live in democracies, the law begins with us.

I feel like I'm married to what I do, to the streets. And I feel like when the streets are mad, it's serious.