Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour: he will always use it in evidence against you.

I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.

Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind.

People are too apt to treat God as if he were a minor royalty.

Cynicism is the humor of hatred.

He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.

God is a sort of burglar. As a young man you knock him down; as an old man you try to conciliate him, because he may knock you down.

The only man who wasn't spoilt by being lionized was Daniel.

A man never knows what a fool he is until he hears himself imitated by one.

I'll have that one, please.

A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.

One must reach out and try to grasp this astonishing finesse, that the value of lif cannot be estimated.

Put a man on the brink of the abyss and - in the unlikely event that she doesn't fall into it - he will become a mystic or a madman... Which is probably the same thing!

Devotion to goal, knowing your purpose and calling helps you go through pain, hindrance and crisis

I'm never drunk on the road, and since I've got to take care of my voice, smoke is definitely not allowed.

How I wish I lived in a Jane Austen novel!

Wherever there is a channel for water, there is a road for the canoe.

The man who pardons easily courts injury.

I honestly do feel that I am a role model for young people.

[Jodie Foster] is one of my favorite actors and people in the business.

I like to write about love plus an obstacle. Not a really big obstacle; not too serious and not too funny. Just somewhere nicely in between - a combination of the two.