Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises' manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

The trouble with parents is they remember the things you don’t want them to remember. Then the things you want them to remember, they forget." Kosi Kamsi

Look for the why behind your feelings of hurt and pain because they signal where we should make some changes.

‪Widen your comfort zone so your goal fits comfortably inside. Do and you’ll hit goals like Steph Curry hits 3s.‬

Discourses, which are mostly wrapped in spurious religious and patriotic ideologies that ignite the enthusiasm of the ignorant masses

I'm always a work in progress.

At one point, I even thought, "Oh, I'll take diet pills." I tried it for one day, and I thought my heart was going to explode. It's awful, and I would never, ever recommend it.

I've always been a guy that doesn't do well waiting for people to say, "You can act." It's always been a part of me.

Bill Clinton did midnight basketball. He is not looked at by this current generation of Democrats as anywhere near the hero he was back in the nineties.

How many fingers am I holding up?" he inquired. Lucille regarded him blearily and said, "Avocado.

They didn't change positions, they just moved the players around.