Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

To be magnificent, attract beauty like a magnet.

The only think I like better than talking about Food is eating.

Perhaps we are not really sinners in the hands of an angry God, after all. Perhaps we are all more like seedlings in the hands of a wise gardener.

I've said many times, 'You learn to win through not liking to lose.' And that's what I mean by learning how to win.

If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.

Ours is the first age in history which has asked the child what he would tolerate learning.

She sensed it, saw my eyes wet with tears, and only then must have discovered I was no longer the man I had been, and I endured her glance with a courage I never thought I had.

In the East, as in the West, newspapers are fast becoming people's Bible, Koran, Zend-Avesta and Gita all rolled into one.

I'm not one of those actors that goes to watch the playback, after every take. I really don't like it, and I don't want to see it.

Motivations are too tangled and complex.