Never trust a man with short legs. His brains are too near his bottom.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Work is much more fun than fun.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

Best timepass for idle person is to find another and gossip, without realising that there are superlative degrees of idle, idler, and idlest.

...he fed his insides before they fed on him.

It's funny the things dreams can do to you.

Next to creating a life the finest thing a man can do is save one.

Life is the result of all your choices.

My darling, you are indisposed! You must remain abed for the next eight months. Little Buford - " "I am NOT naming our child Buford.

You write to help yourself think better, then think to help yourself write better.

There is little reason left for society to respect women as it once did. Women get knocked up. They don't marry. They have abortions. They go to bars. They get knocked up again.

Jesus said, "My Father is the gardener...He trims and cleans every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce even more fruit".

Ever since Napster I've dreamt of building a product similar to Spotify.