Never trust anyone who buttons their top button.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

In this walk to freedom, we must, without question obtain hearts of honesty and a tongue of truthfulness.

Disentangle yourself from anything that will not promote your progress.

Little boys run in gangs, grown men organise teams.

What are you doing today that serves the greater mission for your life? Once you can answer that question without batting an eye, that's when you're really on to something.

Helpless, I clenched my fists against my back, well aware that every mile, every minute that ticked by, took me ever farther from getting to them in time and closer to losing the red dragon forever.

To advertisers: "Do not compete with your agency in the creative area. Why keep a dog and bark yourself?"

Why would they have book covers if we aren't supposed to judge the book by them? It makes no sense.

Places have their own characters. . . . But the people begin to look the same.

I can imagine that Rod Stewart likes giving autographs because he's pure showbusiness.

What gets measured, gets done. And what gets recognized gets done again, and even better.