Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

I thought originally when I was in school and I wanted to be a poet, I knew that poets seemed to be miserable.

There is no freedom on earth or in any star for those who deny freedom to others.

I was a clubber in the Nineties. I went dancing every week.

The best leaks always take place in the urinal.

I am as prompt as a clock, if I only know the day a thing is wanted—otherwise I am a natural procrastinaturalist.

I definitely believe in marriage.

Sometimes when you say goodbye, that's the right thing to do in a relationship.

I function better in an atmosphere of inner insecurity and fear.

A wife who is 85 percent faithful to her husband is not faithful at all. There is no such thing as part-time loyalty to Jesus Christ.

One illusion is as good as another.