New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Self-manipulation is our medication. Mythology is our drug. The only cure is honesty.

There are situations where the best solution still doesn't make everyone happy. The trick is understanding what's best.

I don't know if that's a year's bad luck, or if that's how it works. But stealing a Christmas tree - that can't be a good thing, karma-wise.

If we give up the notion that everybody’s life is perfect but ours, we would be a lot happier. Nobody’s life is perfect.

The man was a deceiver. He was deceitful and I will never bite my tongue in saying that. I don't think he was anything but a politician, and he used Negroes to get elected and to get votes.

You are the only boss you have. And I want you to be the most demanding boss that you can be. If you really want to make a success of this business, then you must put yourself on a schedule.

When we are unable to love and appreciate ourselves and our efforts, we run away from our mistakes and failures, rather than learning from them.

A satisfactory translation is not always possible, but a good translator is never satisfied with it. It can usually be improved. (Newmark)

New Orleans cuisine is Creole rather than Cajun.

I love racing and I love doing well.