New York is a place that can grind you down and spit you out. A true New Yorker doesn't get ground down, he gets polished.

Since I was 14. I grew up surfing. That's all I wanted to do.

Just start writing and you'll find what you want to say.

I grew up very Catholic. I wanted to be a priest.

People have said that to me: They say I have a TV face.

I've had a good run of birthdays, and now no one will notice when I die.

Paint yourself into a corner so that you don't have any other option but to continue forward.

I'm just going to keep doing comedy because I don't know what else to do. I have no other applicable skills.

I put so much energy into with improv. You can only perform it at a place where people are, essentially, taking improv classes so that they just appreciate what's happening.

Improv requires your audience to be informed about what improv is. With stand-up, anybody can sit down and watch stand-up and laugh at jokes.

It's so much harder to make a living off improv. Improv is so rarified and for such a specific audience.

Only stupid men would want stupid wives!

I found strength in what hurt me. And in my family - that's my strength as well. I'm truly grateful to be hurt as many times as I have, because I'm happy!

For somehow this disease inheres in tyranny, never to trust one's friends.

There is much, of course, in the exclusive claims of Christianity which make it hostile to other faiths.

I've never really collected anything other than old Atari cartridges. I only had, like, 12 Atari games as a kid, so at some point in my 20s I decided I was going to own all of them.

Find the best writers, pay them to write, and avoid typos at all costs.

Youth is a continual intoxication; it is the fever of reason.

I have done films where we all thought the director didn't know what he was doing and it is going to be a gobble gobble turkey. And you go and watch it and it is great.

God can rid your heart of greed, but it's your responsibility to remove yourself from situations that promote greediness.

It is attachment to desire, not desire itself, that is the underlying cause of practically all of our pain and suffering.