New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

Or as hockey player Sergei Fedorov knows it, 'The day I can legally start telling everyone I am sleeping with Anna Kournikova.'

Life is what happen when you wake up to its reality

I think the first duty of society is justice.

I always think politicians and even my dentist have more egos than actors.

The kind of music I like depends very much on my mood.

It's my experience that endings are never easy, and I think I'm not alone among filmmakers or writers in this.

We should all strive to be extraordinary, and that starts with a focus on our own capabilities instead of those of our opponents.

Love may be or it may not, but where it is, it ought to reveal itself in its immensity.

There are major influences on us that people are not aware of. There are big lies that nobody's willing to discuss.

Punk's not dead, it's just at K-Mart.

When I'm not completely loaded, it's a much more vulnerable place. I can feel the music, I can feel the energy and I really have to put it out there. When I was loaded, I was just oblivious.