Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Human" is a kind of midway creature, reflecting God into the world, and reflecting the world back to God.

Everything in life has some risk, and what you have to actually learn to do is how to navigate it.

The day's at end and there's nowhere to go, Draw to the fire, even this fire is dying; Get up and once again politely lying Invite the ladies toward the mistletoe.

I think that if you keep banging at the door all you need is a little foothold, a little tiny foothold, and then the rest will take care of itself.

DNA was my only gold rush. I regarded DNA as worth a gold rush.

I just think that the independent voters are going to take their time and look at both candidates.

There have been many times when I've auditioned and I've actually won a different role in the same film.

The sun in on the harbor, love, And I wish I could remain, For I know it will be some long, long time, Before I see you again.

You are only young once. At the time it seems endless, and is gone in a flash; and then for a very long time you are old.

Civilization survives on the constant discovery of amity and an equal supply of damnation.