Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

She can't help it, ' he said. 'She's got the soul of a poet and the emotional makeup of a junkyard dog.

Love, till dawn sunder night from day with fire Dividing my delight and my desire.

All of my friends are my age and we are all ageing at the same time. We talk about it and moan, but it doesn't bother me.

I like to control my own personal life.

It was fine and good to be defiant to the end, but it was better not to get caught in the first place.

You can get a big gust of wind, and your Olympics are over.

What I can't figure out is why we're not making more R-rated movies, actually.

When the burdens of the presidency seem unusually heavy, I always remind myself it could be worse. I could be a mayor.

Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.

If you look at the Internet, it's been hard for a lot of the traditional media companies to launch viable brands.