Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

I like the sky. It's rational to me in a way that life isn't.

Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit.

To fight against the infidels is Jihad; but to fight against your evil self is greater Jihad.

To pursue joy is to lose it. The only way to get it is to follow steadily the path of duty.

Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.

I decided that one day I had to make a film where the viewer couldn't possibly guess the end.

To accept capitalism and Free Enterprise as articles of faith without agreeing that we must be free to consider whether what is offered is free and freeing is itself enslavement.

Sometimes you have to create the thing you want to be part of.

But with period clothes, people know less so they accept the pretty drawing that I give them.

Even now I cannot help feeling that it is a mistake to think that the passion one feels in creation is ever really shown in the work one creates.