No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

The only 'elephant' left in the room is love.

I had a career and I came to motherhood late and am not married and have never had such a trusting relationship with a man - and trust is where the real power of love comes from.

Coral reefs represent some of the world's most spectacular beauty spots, but they are also the foundation of marine life: without them many of the sea's most exquisite species will not survive.

I think it's the pain and suffering that drive you to become an artist. The art itself should be the pain, sort of exorcising every demon and making you feel like you're a person that matters.

Minor vices lead to major ones, but minor virtues stay put.

All I ever wanted was to sing to God. He gave me that longing and then made me mute.

Always put the rook behind the pawn.... Except when it is incorrect to do so.

I think that personality traits that come through when somebody is really sincere is what makes them beautiful.

What you picture in your mind, your mind will go to work to accomplish. When you change your pictures you automatically change your performance