No, I happen to be one of those people whose memory shuts down under pressure. The answers would come to me in the middle of the night in my sleep! Besides, I am a millionaire.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Lips may lie, but the heart always tells the truth.

In God we trust all others must pay cash.

Every person that comes into our life comes for a reason; some come to learn and others come to teach.

I believe quite simply that the small company of the future will be as much a research organization as it is a manufacturing company.

Well, by now you must know yourself, honey, whatever you do, life don't stop. It only sits a minute and dreams a dream.

I want to investigate what scares me and worries me.

Despite the usual idea of a figure skater, I have no rhythm when it comes to even walking off the ice. I fall off curbs all the time.

What I say is focus your mind and respect your body. But mostly love your heart. I think that is where to begin, from there and then it goes out.

'Anchorman'... is not grounded in anything. There is absolutely no heart to that movie, which I love.

Never were two people more opposite in sentiment than my companions.