No day of my life passes without someone saying the words 'Monty Python' to me. It's not bad.

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

There is something about me, doll face. It’s between my legs, and I do believe a few minutes ago you were praying to it.

It is the responsibility of parent to love and care for their children.

Kaku, the aamti is excellent. Did you put ghee in the daal when it was boiling?

Best way to live in California is to be from somewheres else.

It is hard, though, 'cos record labels love to boss you around. I won't let them do that anymore.

To look and feel my best, I watch my calories and exercise.

He whom all hate all wish to see destroyed.

Zen is the only religion in the world that teaches sudden enlightenment. It says that enlightenment takes no time, it can happen in a single, split second.

Um ,sorry. I cant read the last line." "Fish. Have you stolen any fish from the holy lakes?" "I lived in Kansas..So ..no